I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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