hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
