where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
