I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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