You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
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