just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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