I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just gargled with NyQuil
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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