I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
