i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
