I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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