So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Dicks are not precious.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
