She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
