college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
