The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
