halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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