I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Me too!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm bleeding and have questions
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize