come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize