Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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