Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
