I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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