Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
where are my eyebrows?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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