this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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