I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I look better un-naked...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
