just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
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