Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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