chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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