lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
