hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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