good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
