Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
