the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
