He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
