you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
