ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
