and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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