omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
