We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
