I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
