i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
