dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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