Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
