She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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