I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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