just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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