she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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