My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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