Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
