I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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