so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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