you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize