the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Randomize
