can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
