Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
