Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
