You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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