Non-Jews are for practice
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Of course I have a pirate flag
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
