The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
