i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
