A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
