i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
