Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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