is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
